Cabin Announcements on Airplanes

Written by Bill on October 29th, 2007 – 8:00 am -

Airplanes Lined upI travel quite a bit and while I haven’t heard all of these directly many are quite familiar… 

  • On a Southwest flight (Southwest has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced,  “People, people, we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!” 

  • On a Continental flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights.  This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”

  • On landing, the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all of your belongings.  If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure that it is something we’d like to have.”

  • “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”

  • “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express.  We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”

  • As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella…. WHOA!”

  • After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”

  • Form a Southwest employee:  “Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa… To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull tight.  It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one , you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.”

  • “In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the compartment above you.  Stop screaming, grab the mask and pull it over your face.  If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.  If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.”

  • “Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive.   Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.

  • “Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

  • “As you exit the plane make sure you gather all of your belongings.  Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants.  Please do not leave children or spouses.”

  • And from the pilot during his welcome message:  “Delta Airlines is please to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry.  Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!”

  • Heard on Southwest after a very hard landing: “That was quite a bump, and I know what y’all are thinking.  I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t even the flight attendant’s fault…it was the asphalt.”

  • On another less than perfect landing:  “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal”

Share others that you have heard, or received in emails..


Tags: ,
Posted in Enjoy, Personal, Professional, Travel | 1 Comment »

Airline Pilot Comedy Clip

Written by Bill on October 11th, 2007 – 8:00 am -

For those of us that spend a lot of time on airplanes and traveling you just can’t help but laugh at this old Dean Martin, Foster Brooks comedy bit.


Tags: , ,
Posted in Enjoy, Entertainment, Personal, Professional, Travel | No Comments »

Alaska Airlines Mileage Plan and Northwest Airlines

Written by Bill on September 20th, 2007 – 8:00 am -

AirlinesI’m sure many of you are members of some airline mileage program and I would hazard a guess that if you do a significant amount of traveling that you are probably a member of more than 1 plan.    A number of years ago I decided that I wasn’t going to be able to accumulate enough mileage on any single airline so I started consolidating my mileage into two different plans. 

 Alaska Airlines has, in my opinion one of the best if not the best mileage plans in the industry.   They have a number of partners that I fly, so at the time it seemed to make the most sense to me to accumulate my airline mileage in their plan.  Over the years I have booked 100s of thousands of miles with Alaska Airlines and its partners… (predominately Delta, Northwest and Continental)

Over the past couple of years I have tried to use my mileage on Northwest Airlines.  On 3 separate occasions, one with over 1 year advanced purchase notification I could not get tickets at any time (I had the reservation agent search 30 days plus or minus my desired travel date) on Northwest Airlines because there were no available ”mileage” seats to their HUB city of Minneapolis.   I could connect out of Minneapolis to virtually any city I wanted to go to but getting from Spokane to Minneapolis was impossible even if I chose to go through other destinations like Seattle, Los Angeles, or Salt Lake City.  

The moral of this story for me is to absolutely stop flying on Northwest.  I would also suggest that everyone else stop flying Northwest as well.   Alaska Airlines should dump them as an airline partner.   It is one thing to accumulate mileage but that is only 1/2 of what the program is about… You need to be able to use the mileage as well.    

Other problems I have personally experienced with the Alaska / Northwest program…

  • first class upgrades are non-existent to partners even if you have certificates for them.
  • no preferred boarding at the airports unlike other Alaska partners
  • club access problems

 I’ve decided Northwest Airlines isn’t worth the trouble…  I’ve complained to Alaska MVP Gold Customer service about them as well… Are you going to jump on the bandwagon?  What has been your experience?


Tags: , ,
Posted in Ponder, Professional, Travel | No Comments »
RSS

  • Slideshow

    Get the Flash Player to see the slideshow.
  • Stats

    • Pages displayed : 36273
    • Unique visitors : 13359
    • Pages displayed in last 24 hours : 249
    • Unique visitors in last 24 hours : 74